Lily Flower
by Aleriaxx
Summary: Five windows in the life of James and Lily. A moment when they felt like giving up, a moment of hope, a moment of tenderness, a moment of laughter. And the last moment, the most powerful. Five moments when nothing else mattered.
1. Chapter 1

James was late today, as usual. Lily sat alone in the kitchen, in the bright artificial light, and waited. Water dripped in the sink, filled with dirty dishes.  
She just didn't have the energy anymore.  
Drip, drip.  
The door opened and it was him, snow speckling his coat and his dark hair.  
"Lily," he called, and she quickly turned her head away. She could hear the squeak as he kicked off his boots, and then he was next to her, touching her shoulder. "Lily."  
"You're late," she said. Her voice felt thick in her throat. "_Again_." He was silent for a moment.  
"Lily, it wasn't my fault. There's been so many deaths. The Bones-"  
"We could be next, James," she whispered, wanting to curl up somewhere, hide away from the outside, where people dropped dead in the streets. James squeezed her shoulder.  
"I know, Lily, I know."  
"Do you know what it's like in here?" she asked quietly. "All alone, from morning to night? I swear I-I'm going _crazy_, James, sometimes I think I hear voices, from Elaine and Sylvia and-and just everyone who's died, whispering to me, and it's so quiet, James, and whenever the floor creaks I feel like it's him, he's here for Harry." And Lily clasped a hand over her stomach as though shielding her unborn baby from the world.  
"Lily, I'm sorry." James's free hand reached to brush the curtain of red hair away from her face.  
"Don't say you're sorry," she snapped, and flinched away. A look of hurt flickered over James's face. The small, sudden movement was enough to send a wave of nausea through Lily's stomach, but she tried not to show it. "Don't. Just don't. Do you know how long I've gone without fresh air? How long I've been stuck in this stupid house? It feels like I'm in a cage, James, a cage. Like a wild animal in a zoo. I'm going _mad,_ you and Sirius and Batty coming around talking about what's going on outside and I never know."  
"What, would you like a tour?" James lashed out without warning. He had spent a long, miserable day at work and come home cold, wet and weary, hoping to be embraced by a caring wife. "Because I'd be happy to give you one. _Welcome to your worst nightmare, I'll be your tour guide today! On your right you see the dead bodies of the McKinnon family, passed away three days ago. On your left the ruined house of the Longbottoms. Feel free to take pictures._" He assumed a high, peppy voice, but his eyes betrayed grief and anger.  
"James." Lily's voice was warning.  
"_Here we have the alleyway where Greyback murdered a young Muggle girl. While poor Lily Potter moped over her boring life in Gordric's Hollow, Death Eaters were massacring Muggles in the_-" his voice was rising.  
"Stop it, you idiot!" Lily screamed-and then gasped, putting a hand to her stomach. Immediately James was at her side, stirring her to the sofa, forcing her down into the cushions. The anger had flicked off like a candle in a windstorm.  
"It's fine, it's fine," she said. "He just kicked. I just-I got startled." They stood like that a moment in silence. For a moment, it felt like one of them would say something-apologize, maybe, or laugh and break the tension.  
No one did, and life went on for the lily flower and the stag.


	2. Chapter 2

Three days later they danced together to the radio. It was Eye of the Phoenix, for members of the Order only. They didn't start at a good mood...not at all.  
_"Bridge collapse in Albany, Death Eaters on broomsticks blasted the support railings, over three dozen Muggles killed. In London, the wizarding death list goes as follows: Fabian Prewett."_  
Lily gasped and closed her eyes, rocking slightly. Fabian. James looked grim.  
"_Gideon Prewett. Marlene McKinnon_."  
"Dear Marlene," Lily murmured.  
"_Benjy Fenwick. Edgar Bones. Dorcas Meadowes._" There was a brief silence. "_That is all_."  
The words sounded final.  
Six wizards and witches, six human beings, six brave friends, dead. In one day. Their eyes closed, their hearts stopped. Fabian and Gideon, the lofty brothers. Always seeming too strong and sturdy to fall...Marlene, the confident, who wore too much makeup and swore and smoked Muggle cigars. Jolly Benjy, grave Ed, beautiful Dorcas.  
"A moment of silence for the dead."  
Who else? Unnamed Muggles lying at the bottom of a lake. Young witches bleeding to death in a hidden alleyway. Aurors who never came back home...When would Lily join them? Would she die with Harry still inside of her? Dying slowly, painfully, where James couldn't find her...  
A guitar note pierced the silence and startled Lily from her thoughts. Music was playing from the radio, Muggle music that she didn't recognize. Buzzing with static and not that good of a tune, but it was enough to raise her spirits. Nice of the Phoenix to cheer her up.  
Then James was slipping his arms around her waist and her swollen belly, gently helping her stand, taking her hand and then before she could respond he was sailing her across the carpet, smiling his lopsided grin, his glasses askew. She was stumbling and tripping over his feet. It felt like heaven.  
Lily realized that she was crying right then, and she didn't know if it was from happiness or from grief. Maybe both.  
James smiled down at his Lily. Her name was a song, his song, and he would sing it as long as he lived. He whispered a promise into her hair, that he would never leave her, that not even Death would ever part him from his flower.


End file.
